A little over 20 years ago I was in a relationship that wasn't a great one but I settled for it anyway, because I thought perhaps it wouldn't get any better. "Maybe this is as good as it gets?", I thought to myself. I loved, surely -- but I wasn't entirely happy. Something was always missing, yet I stuck with it due to fear of being alone and because of a sense of duty and loyalty. Then we had kids -- the most wonderful gifts -- and despite being unhappy and unfulfilled I kept with it. Now that relationship has been officially over for three years now and I still haven't met anyone that makes my heart skip a beat. I've been on a grand total of three dates in that time, while she's on her, oh I don't know -- 10th boyfriend? I'm not keeping score, though, and I really don't mind. It's her life, and her choices. Good for her. For me, however, it just amplifies my loneliness a bit. It's like there is this incessant buzz
Just a little creative outlet for when I feel like writing.